I’m very happy with my life at the moment. I have a fantastic job, a beautiful house that fills me with pride, a good relationship with my parents and a small group of close friends who I love dearly and who I know will have my back should that ever be necessary.
Yet many people pity me and feel that I should be looking to change my life. Did you guess why yet?
I’m single and I don’t have kids.

I realize that my life is different from that of most people my age. I also understand that this means that I’m missing out on certain experiences. But I’m ok with that. My life allows me to spend time on the things I love to do, to change plans last minute, to design my house the way I want to and make changes to it whenever I feel like it.
I’m happy and not looking for a man in my life. I also don’t hear or feel my biological clock ticking.

My life is rich and full spending time with friends, playing sports, regularly visiting my parents and feeling blessed spending time at home, on my own.
Whenever I want to share my thoughts and experiences, or when I feel the need to vent, I can go to my friends and family, or I can write about it and share it with you lovely readers.

Yet several people around me feel the need to regularly ask me if I’m dating yet. And every time I explain that I’m not and that I’m also not looking for someone to date. I’m not saying it will never happen, but I’m not taking any action to make it happen.
Sometimes I feel like asking people that keep getting back to this if they are divorced yet. But that’s not nice and I’m pretty sure it would not be considered socially acceptable. I hope that someday people will realize that asking me or any other happy single if we are dating yet is just as disrespectful towards us and our lifestyle.
I’m living my life the way I choose to live it!

For a while now I have been contemplating about a couple of things related to writing and my blog. One of the things I’m on the fence about is whether I should try writing in Dutch (which is my native language).
There are two main triggers:

1. I would like to reach a larger audience
2. I often feel that my posts come out “heavier” than I intent them to be and than they feel when I’m thinking about them in my head

I would like to get more readers. I have learned from someone who’s experience and opinion I value greatly that the best place to find a loyal audience is in the smallest niche you can find to write about. My original idea was that I would write in English, from a “successful woman in business”-point of view. I felt that would be a decent niche, and it’s who/what I am, so it seemed simple enough. However, when I try to put a “female” angle in my posts I tend to lose all inspiration.
Now the people that read my posts are mostly personal Facebook friends and some Twitter followers.
Another way to find a niche could be to write in Dutch.

The second reason to consider writing in Dutch is that I feel my posts always come out quite “heavy”. I write about serious topics, but the highlights that are in my head before I start writing the post usually feel lighter to me than the written result. This might just be my feeling, and not how others read it of course, but it means that I’m not always as excited about how a post comes out as I could be.

While brainstorming about this on Facebook one of my very smart friends also suggested that the posts do not get heavier because of the language, but they might get heavier because of the format. I had to think about this for a day, but he might be onto something.
When I think about a post before I write it, I always think about it in English. While it’s in my head, I usually address it directly to you (the reader). However, when I start writing, I don’t want to come across as a smartass and I’m afraid that I might offend people. To avoid this, I turn the post around a bit by writing from my own perspective, focusing on my own experience.

I’m interested in your opinions as I’m still not entirely sure on the best way forward. For that same reason you might find some experiments on here in the weeks to come!

Why is it so hard to follow your own advice? On some days I feel like “do as I say, not as I do” could be my motto.
Even though I know that the people that work with and for you will copy your behavior. That means that it’s very important to practice what you preach.

When someone at work is not feeling well, I truly feel that they should they take care of their health first and stay home until they feel better. I try to get this feeling across to people, so they feel comfortable taking the time they need.
However, when I get sick, for some reason it’s a completely different story. As long as I can sit, walk and drive I will go to work. That’s setting a bad example!

Today was such a day. I had a rough night and was coughing and not feeling well. Of course, by the end of the afternoon it was even worse. Despite it being a productive day, it’s not comfortable for me and it’s not a good example for others. Changing your own behavior is difficult though.
But at least there is some hope: I already called in sick for tomorrow. No more excuses. My first order of business is getting better. Once that is taken care off I will get back to work.

When you see someone do something you feel isn’t nice, or right, or decent, do you give that person feedback about their behavior?

One of my customers is very serious about safety and they actively encourage everyone to give feedback to someone who doesn’t follow the safety guidelines. They are very clear about the desirable behavior. Yet even in that environment it’s a big step to really address someone to ask them to change their behavior.

About a year ago I went out to a work-related dinner and one of the man there was very pushy and rude to both me and the waitress, who was about half my age. Several people noticed has was consistently asking me inappropriate questions and everyone, including myself noticed how he was treating the waitress even worse. Yet no one corrected him.

Fairly regularly you see someone throw their junk out onto the street. Either a fast food bag or box, or the remains of a cigarette for instance. Do you ever confront them and ask them why they do it, or ask them to pick it up and throw it in a bin?

I think most people react the same in these situations. Maybe out of fear. Sometimes fear of retaliation, but in a lot of cases probably just to avoid the potentially awkwardness that it will result in.
I always wonder “why” someone jumps a line, or doesn’t bother to throw their junk in a bin nearby. I find the why almost more interesting than the act itself. Maybe they have a very good reason. Someone might have just gotten back from the dentist and be in a lot of pain. Their partner might be very ill and they have to get home as quickly as possible to help them. With some creativity you can think of a lot of reasons why someone might be behaving inconsiderate, but we don’t know, because we don’t ask.

I think of myself as being pretty considering. I try to
treat people with the same respect that I hope that they will treat me with. I don’t litter my environment. I even regularly pick up someone else’s junk if it’s close to a bin and doesn’t look too gross. But I hardly ever give feedback to someone directly about their behavior if they are being rude or inconsiderate to other people, themselves, or our environment. Except in traffic sometimes…but that’s a completely different story…

I’m going to try to make a change and at least ask “why” more often. People might surprise me. And if not, then my question might surprise them enough to trigger something.