Category Archives: Reflections

The Alice Network – impossible to put down

I missed quite a few hours of sleep this week because I was unable to put Kate Quinn’s brilliant novel The Alice Network down. The main characters are so lively and real I couldn’t wait to get to know them better and learn about what happened to them and their loved ones. Some of the characters don’t just seem real, they were real. The Alice Network was the most efficient spy network of WW I, run by Alice Dubois, whose real name was Louise de Bettignies. Although she was well known by contemporary British intelligence and military men and fiercely hated by the Germans, she’s not very well known today.

Spying wasn’t cool before James Bond and Covert Affairs and female spies had it even worse. Despite the very difficult and dangerous circumstances in which they had to live they were supposed to behave like saints. If they didn’t they were quickly assumed to be whores. The book tells the story of Eve Gardiner (a fictional character), a file girl who desperately wants to prove that she is capable of greater things. Eve has a stammer, which makes people think she’s simple-minded and weak. She has a soft and innocent face but she is an exceptionally good liar. And not simple-minded at all.

The Alice Network2

The story of Eve, which plays in 1915, is alternated with that of Charlie St. Clair, which plays in 1947. Charlie is the daughter of rich parents. Her brother fought in WW II and was unable to adjust to regular life afterward. He killed himself, leaving her parents heartbroken and Charlie wrecked with guild. Charlie is a math wizard, but after her brothers dead she starts missing school and gets herself pregnant. To make things right with the world she wants to find her cousin Rose, who went missing during the war. It’s this search that makes the paths of Charlie and Eve cross.

Quinn very quickly makes you fall in love with the characters (or hate them in some cases). They are trapped in very difficult situations, but at some level, I still wanted to be both Eve and Charlie. Eve’s courage is incomprehensible and her strength is out of this world. If I compare Eve’s life with mine I’m not allowed to complain ever again (don’t worry, I still will) and yet she remains determined and brave and never gives up. Thinking about the role that women like her played in both wars makes me feel humbled and proud to be a woman.

Charlie loves very passionately and has a similar unwavering determination. She also has a problem that she tries to ignore, even though that’s proving impossible. She hates the fancy but inconvenient clothes that her mum wants her dressed in. While her mother sends her to college to find a good husband, Charlie actually wants to make something of her life. She’s not content with the idea of just being someone’s wife.

Books like this (and the news) make me wonder what I will do if a war would break out. It’s easy to argue that we are already at a point where we should all be fighting to try and save the world from overheating and getting covered in plastic waste. That we should fight against the rise of hate of everyone who is not exactly like you. When will I start to fight? I minimize the amount of plastic packaging that I use, I have a reusable tea mug at work, I eat very little meat, I’m kind to the people around me and I regularly check my biases, but none of this is revolutionary, nor is it going to save the world. I’m a terrible liar and all my emotions are clearly displayed on my face, so I will never be a spy (or a good poker player). But there are so many for other types of activism. When will I take action? What will it take for me to step up?

I have no idea and it worries me.

The War for Kindness – Building Empathy in a Fractured World

I feel very strongly about kindness and empathy. I always try to be kind, even when I’m tired and in a hurry and I don’t feel like it. I don’t always succeed, but I always try. When I learned about a book called The War for Kindness – Building Empathy in a Fractured World I immediately knew I wanted to read it.
Jamil Zaki is a professor at Stanford University who has been studying how empathy works for many years and he wrote this book about his most important findings.

The first time I started thinking about empathy was after hearing David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech “This is Water”. I realize there are serious problems with David Foster Wallace’s legacy, but the speech is so powerful I still want to quote it. The speech is about making a conscious decision to think about what you’re thinking, instead of just living your life on autopilot. Many of us are like the young fish described at the start of the speech. And the people in the supermarket. And the people stuck in traffic.
If I’m in a more socially conscious liberal arts form of my default setting, I can spend time in the end-of-the-day traffic being disgusted about all the huge, stupid, lane-blocking SUV’s and Hummers and V-12 pickup trucks, burning their wasteful, selfish, 40-gallon tanks of gas, and I can dwell on the fact that the patriotic or religious bumper-stickers always seem to be on the biggest, most disgustingly selfish vehicles, driven by the ugliest [responding here to loud applause] — this is an example of how NOT to think, though — most disgustingly selfish vehicles, driven by the ugliest, most inconsiderate and aggressive drivers. And I can think about how our children’s children will despise us for wasting all the future’s fuel, and probably screwing up the climate, and how spoiled and stupid and selfish and disgusting we all are, and how modern consumer society just sucks, and so forth and so on.
 
You get the idea.
 
If I choose to think this way in a store and on the freeway, fine. Lots of us do. Except thinking this way tends to be so easy and automatic that it doesn’t have to be a choice. It is my natural default setting. It’s the automatic way that I experience the boring, frustrating, crowded parts of adult life when I’m operating on the automatic, unconscious belief that I am the center of the world, and that my immediate needs and feelings are what should determine the world’s priorities.
 
The thing is that, of course, there are totally different ways to think about these kinds of situations. In this traffic, all these vehicles stopped and idling in my way, it’s not impossible that some of these people in SUV’s have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive. Or that the Hummer that just cut me off is maybe being driven by a father whose little child is hurt or sick in the seat next to him, and he’s trying to get this kid to the hospital, and he’s in a bigger, more legitimate hurry than I am: it is actually I who am in HIS way.

Our feelings and emotions are not determined by what happens to us. They are determined by how we react to what happens to us. I try to always keep this in mind and actively practice it. People who I think of as assholes who are in my way don’t think about the world with me at the center of it in the way I do. They, by definition, experience life and the world around them with themselves at the center of it all. They might have very good reasons for behaving in the way they do. They might be very annoyed by my behavior, even if I didn’t mean to annoy anyone, or if I had a very good reason for behaving the way I did.
I know for a fact that I’m sometimes annoying for the people close to me because whenever they complain about others I try to come up with suggestions about why the people they are furious at behaved the way they did. Which is, of course, the last thing you want to hear when you are trying to blow off some steam.

In the book, Zaki describes how empathy’s most important role is to inspire kindness. It triggers us to help others, even at a cost to ourselves. This cost is worth it, both on a personal and an evolutionary level.
If many humans weren’t willing to help others we would not exist and certainly not thrive as a species. Human baby’s and kids are helpless for much longer than most other species’ offspring. They need their parents and community to take care of them, despite the cost of energy, time and money.
A personal benefit of empathizing is that it will help us to attract friends. We like people who empathize with us. Decades of evidence show that people who empathize with others have more friends and experience greater happiness.

I don’t just try to execute my quest for kindness and empathy in my personal life. I also extend it to my professional life. I work hard on building a culture that makes people feel appreciated and safe. Where leaders are kind and enable their teams to learn and grow and use their potential. Even if that potential is greater than that of the leader itself. We should reward people for achieving great things together, for helping each other and for leveraging everyone’s strengths.

Zaki’s research confirms that this is a good strategy. Organizations that focus on kindness flourish, even when it comes to the bottom line. In 2012, Google found that its people-oriented teams were also their most successful teams.
For several decades people have believed that the best way to motivate employees is by offering them bonuses for individual excellence. While this may motivate some people, most people feel unhappy in an environment in which they constantly have to outdo their colleagues. It generates anxiety, fatigue, and hostility. It limits results and increases attrition. A rewards system that promotes cooperation, on the other hand, increases morale and productivity.

The second person who has influenced my thinking about empathy is Tim Minchin. This also started with his commencement speech in which he shares 9 life lessons. Number three is about empathy and being humble.
Remember, It’s All Luck. You are lucky to be here. You were incalculably lucky to be born, and incredibly lucky to be brought up by a nice family that helped you get educated and encouraged you to go to Uni. Or if you were born into a horrible family, that’s unlucky and you have my sympathy… but you were still lucky: lucky that you happened to be made of the sort of DNA that made the sort of brain which – when placed in a horrible childhood environment – would make decisions that meant you ended up, eventually, graduating Uni. Well done you, for dragging yourself up by the shoelaces, but you were lucky. You didn’t create the bit of you that dragged you up. They’re not even your shoelaces.
 
I suppose I worked hard to achieve whatever dubious achievements I’ve achieved … but I didn’t make the bit of me that works hard, any more than I made the bit of me that ate too many burgers instead of going to lectures while I was here at UWA.
 
Understanding that you can’t truly take credit for your successes, nor truly blame others for their failures will humble you and make you more compassionate.
 
Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on, intellectually.

Tim Minchin’s idea that you can practice being empathic is in line with David Foster Wallace’s idea about actively thinking about what you are thinking about and it’s supported by Zaki’s research results.
A century ago, scientists were convinced the adult human brain was fixed. That it couldn’t grow or change. This also meant the assumption was that character and behavior was fixed. That it couldn’t be trained or adjusted. If you weren’t kind or empathic that was just who you were.
Part of who we are and how we behave is genetically determined. Studies have shown that empathy is about 30% genetically determined. For generosity, this is 60%. I guess that explains why my mum could have bitter discussions with my grandma about who was allowed to buy the other person dinner and why I have very similar discussions with my mum today.

If 30% of empathy is genetically determined this still leaves a lot of room for improvement through experience, training, and education. Our actions, inactions and life’s choices make a real difference. Education grows the brain, while stress causes atrophy. Empathy is a skill that you can improve on just like math, running, and weightlifting. People might start at different base levels, but their competency is by no means fixed.

Training to be empathic can be done by simply thinking about what you’re thinking. Feeling empathy is easier for someone you know personally than for the abstract concept of a group or a tribe. Especially if you don’t belong to that particular group. If you hate a specific group of people, getting to know someone from that group and being treated with kindness by that person can in some cases change your mind about the entire group. In the words of Mark Twain “Getting to know people and traveling is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts”.

People feel more empathy for others when they understand what they are going through. You can learn about other people and their circumstances in many different ways, but nowadays it can most realistically be experienced using Virtual Reality. Experiments show that people who have experienced a refugee camp through VR are more empathic towards refugees and are also willing to donate more money for relief efforts even months after their VR experience.

Actors pretend to be other people, which means that they have to think about what the person they are pretending to be thinks and feels. This is a form of practicing empathy. It’s therefore not surprising that students who train to be actors don’t only develop their acting talent, but also their empathy.
Reading and acting can be a way to practice empathy in safe environments, without judgment. Storytelling doesn’t just provide joy and amusement, it can also make people kinder!

I’m so fascinated by the impact that empathy can have and how you can learn to be more empathic that I could go on and on about it. I empathize with you, the reader though. I realize you have other (better) things to do besides reading this blog.
I do ask you to read or listen to David Foster Wallace’s speech and think about its contents.

If you are interested in empathy Jamil Zaki’s book is a very worthwhile read. In this post, I only touched upon a tiny little part of the topics that he discusses. If you are a parent, a caretaker, or if you work in medicine in one capacity or another the book contains some valuable insights that aren’t obvious. At least they weren’t to me.

Empathy is the mental superpower that can overcome the distance between two people. Empathy is personal, but it’s also collective. We are herd animals. We behave in the way we see people around us behaving. We observe others and copy parts of what they do and think. You only have to look at local accents to realize that this is true. Fortunately, we don’t just respond to norms, we also create them. Setting examples of kindness and empathy helps to let other people be more kind and emphatic too. Let’s create a trend together.

The Secret River – how a lack of understanding can lead to a disaster

The Secret River is loosely based on the story of Kate Grenville’s ancestor Solomon Wiseman, but it’s a work of fiction.
It’s incredibly well written. The book tells the story of William and Sal and it feels heavy from start to finish.
William and Sal meet as kids in London. William has a big family with a lot of brothers and sisters. There isn’t enough food for everyone and he’s often cold. Sal’s an only child and her family is a bit better off. William and Sal end up being some of Australia’s early settlers.

Usually, when reading I try to identify with one of the main characters. In this book, I’m on the outside looking in. None of the characters are very likable. I felt sorry for them, but at the same time, they don’t seem to handle their circumstances very well. It’s easy to say that while being sat on a comfortable sofa with tea and a biscuit of course.

In a way, the book shows the worst sides of humans. There is a total lack of empathy for other classes and people with a different background and culture. Those in a position of power treat the people that need their kindness and support the most with contempt. As they gain power people behave like their former oppressors, even though they are aware of how that behavior hurt them in the past. They take the full force of their self-loathing out on others.
Throughout the book decisions and actions lead to crashes in slow motion. With horrible consequences. While it’s easy to see it happening from a distance it does make me wonder if I would be able to see it happening if this was my life and these were my decisions and actions.

The Secret River is a strong reminder of how important it is to be open to other people and to try and understand what’s driving them. The characters in the book are unable to truly connect and reach each other and shame and entitlement is stopping them from really trying. It’s painful to watch.
The more different people seem to be at first glance, the harder it can be to connect. We should look for ways to communicate and not give up because it’s hard. We shouldn’t feel embarrassed because we are trying and not succeeding the first time.
This is a reminder for myself as much as anyone. Especially being prepared to try to connect, fail and try again. It’s ok to be uncomfortable and as today’s world is becoming smaller and more diverse it might be more important than ever.

The Secret River made me feel some of the painful history of Australia. It also made me realize while I learned about the facts of Dutch colonization, I have little awareness of the feelings and the emotions that must have been part of it. The violence, pain, and injustice.
I want to find a book like The Secret River that can teach me about the pain and injustice that are part of my own past.

I learned about The Secret River through this Youtube video.
If you are lucky enough to have an Australian iTunes account I think the Secret River mini-series will be well worth a watch.

The Secret River

A successful team

Do we have success backwards?

When we think about a successful person, we often think about someone who is very busy, works very long hours and often weekends. I used to think like this and I used to work all the time because I felt that’s what you’re supposed to do to have a successful career.
If we’re honest though, does living like that sound appealing? Do you want to work all the time? Unable to unwind, because you’re always checking your emails?

Last year, after reading Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Busy: How to thrive in a world of too much by Tony Crabbe, I’ve made changes to the way I work. I’ve turned all email notifications off, on all my devices, including my main laptop. If I want to see my emails I have to consciously open up Outlook. This allows me to concentrate on a task, rather than getting distracted by every incoming email.

Blocking time in my calendar allows me to deal with anything that does need urgent attention (which usually means it’s about people, not things). I’ve also put aside time to work on important projects that are not urgent, to make sure that I’m not just solving today’s crisis every day. These changes have allowed me to cut down the number of hours that I work. Yes, I do occasionally do a bit of work in the evening, or on the weekend, but it’s an exception now, rather than the rule that it used to be. At the same time, I feel like I accomplish more. And my mailbox hasn’t turned into one of these black holes that some of my colleagues seem to be dealing with. Or trying to anyway.

If people see you as a leader there’s another problem with working all the time and not responding to emails. People who work for you will mimic your behavior. They will work all the time and feel that it’s ok to not reply to emails. Because that is the example that you are setting. Even if you tell them they shouldn’t, they will do as you do, not as you say.

After reading Multipliers by Liz Wiseman the idea that working a lot of hours isn’t necessarily a good thing took even stronger root for me. Multipliers are genius makers. They bring out the intelligence in others. They get the most out of their teams and makes them feel trusted and valued. The opposite of a multiplier is a diminisher. Diminishers, who almost always mean well, get less than half of the intelligence and energy out of their teams. They leave their teams underutilized.

Diminishers feel that intelligence is scarce and fixed and that they if they want something to get done, they have to get personally involved. With a mindset like that, you can understand why someone might be very busy.
Multipliers look for what people are naturally good at (their native genius) and try to stretch and grow those skills even further. They create space for others and allow them to fail, within a reasonably save boundary. They do however also demand that people take ownership and they won’t shy away from asking hard questions.

I’ve been trying to act as a multiplier for several months now, but I find it hard to tell how well I’m doing. The accidentally diminishing behavior that I’m most likely to exhibit is called “Pace Setter”. Being a Pace Setter means you are so on top of things, working so quickly, or focused, or at such a high quality that no one else gets a chance to step in and take responsibility. While working for a leader like that might sound ideal, it often means that other people don’t get a chance to use their skills and intelligence. If you do this for too long, they will give up, because you will take care of things anyway.

A clear sign of multiplying is delegating significant amounts of work to your team, in a way that allows them to be successful. I’m working with the best teams that I can possibly wish for and seeing people grow and be successful is the most rewarding part of my job.
The added benefit of delegating is of course that you don’t have to do all the work yourself. Thus allowing you time to work on projects that are challenging you and that allow you to grow too. And to spend your evening writing a blog post.
Today was my first day back at work after a two-week break and I was lucky enough to be part of a brilliantly led meeting that was not only a lot of fun, but that also achieved a result that I did not expect at the start.
If anyone is looking for me I’m over here trying to create more space for my team and being very proud.

How our collective imagination rules the world

I’m reading Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari at the moment. The book, that describes our extraordinary journey from insignificant apes to rulers of the world. At the same time, the book is the best antidote to insomnia (which I don’t suffer from) that I’ve ever come across. I just can’t seem to stay awake for more than ten pages at a time.

I’m about 50% through the book now and so far the most interesting part, as well as the most shocking revelation, to me has been how the most impactful and powerful concepts in the world today are fiction or myths.
Let me track back a little bit. Around 70.000 years ago, we were still hunters and gatherers we lived in small tribes. Language wasn’t very far evolved yet, and the things we had to communicate about were all physical. It was very useful to be able to tell someone they should cross the river near the big tree, or to watch out for the tiger that was looking at a member of the tribe from a little distance. Around 70.000 years ago though, the cognitive revolution started and fictive language emerged.

A group of up to around 150 people can live or work together and function through intimate relationships. When the group gets bigger though it no longer works like that. The way in which humans resolved this, was through the introduction of fiction. Our language evolved and we became capable of communicating about things that weren’t physical. It turns out that large groups of people, strangers even, can cooperate successfully if they believe in a common myth. And so the first stories about ghosts, spirits, and deities emerged.

Religions have been very important and powerful myths that have brought people together, but that have also been used to create false dichotomies and drive polarization. Religions have had a huge impact on the history of humankind. And they are still powerful today.
Religious myths aren’t the only powerful fictional constructs that we’ve invented. Present day states are common national myths. A state is not a physical thing like a tree or a river. It’s a construct that humans agreed would be valid and because of that it can exist and hold (a lot of) power.
In today’s society, we have powerful and modern institutions that are based on the tales told by business people and lawyers.

Two lawyers who have never met can work together to defend a stranger, because they believe in the same laws, in the concept of justice and in human rights. Yet all of these things, laws, justice, human rights, only exist in the stories and common imagination of human beings.
The last striking example that stayed with me is that of modern-day companies and corporations. Let’s take Apple as an example. If all iPhones and iPads that exist in the world today would disappear, Apple would still exist. If all of Apple’s offices would be wiped off the face of the earth, Apple would still exist. If everyone that works for Apple would quit today, Apple would still exist. However if a judge would order the dissolution of the company, Apple would cease to exist. Despite all the people, the offices and the devices still being there. A corporation is a figment of our collective imagination.

Like a lot of people, I was very well aware of the myths and stories about ghosts, spirits, and deities. However, I have never stopped to think that the most powerful institutions in today’s world only exist in our own collective stories too. It’s very easy to chuckle at the myths and stories of other people, but we all take our own myths seriously. So seriously that people are being killed and wars are being fought to force our stories onto others.

I’m not delusive enough to think that the people fighting to defend their stories will stop doing that. I can make sure though that I continue to examine “my” stories and that I look at other people’s stories with empathy and compassion.
It’s easy to be hard on someone else’s opinions, but a lot harder to be just as hard on your own.

The end and a list

It’s the evening of the last day of our holiday and I just started packing. Usually, I’d have gone over every detail of today and tomorrow in my head for a couple of days. Partially to ensure that there would be a solid plan for the journey, but mostly because I’d be longing to go home.
I’m not sure why this year is different. I’m still looking forward to going home. To my beautiful house, my comfortable bed and my perfect shower (with a view) and, even though A and I enjoy each other’s company very much, also to being alone.
And yet we are strangely unprepared. We don’t even know at what time we had to check out in the morning. While discussing it we landed on “probably a bit earlier than we are ready on most days”. Which is a fair assumption, as we would otherwise certainly miss our flight.

This holiday feels like it’s somehow not “done” yet. I can’t exactly pinpoint why that is. Perhaps because the influence from hurricane Leslie has meant that the weather hasn’t been as good as we’d have hoped. The weather was after all one of the main reasons why we chose to come here. We still had a great holiday though with some fun day trips and a couple of beach days, some tennis and a bit of running.

Perhaps the feeling is caused by my memories of the brilliant holiday that we had last year. To be fair, A had to remind me that I was actually sick for the first few days of that holiday, my memory had put that minor detail conveniently aside. But other than that, we had a great apartment (our first Airbnb experience). We were surprised by the stunning beaches and coastline of Crete, which we explored in the best possible (rental) car (an Alfa Romeo Giulietta). It also where and when I rediscovered my love for reading books. Two of the books that I read last year, Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Busy by Tony Crabbe changed the way I work. After reading those books I blocked one day per week without meetings and on the other days, I also try to have three hours without meetings. I use this time to work on longer-term and more strategic projects. This approach means that I can look beyond today’s problem and the never-ending stream of email. It makes me happier and more productive. I also regularly feel like I’m in control of my days. Which is a big improvement.

This year I’ve read the amazing number of seven books during my holiday. Although I don’t think any of them will have as big an impact as Flow and Busy did, I did enjoy reading them and I got something out of all of them. For those curious, I’ll do a list.

  • I wanted to read I’m a joke and so are you by comedian Robin Ince because I found out that the book contained insights from an interview with Tim Minchin. The book is an examination of the human condition. I wrote a post about the inner voices that Robin describes in the book.
  • Leigh Sales is an Australian writer, journalist and news anchor. Leigh had been very lucky in life (by her own account) for many years and suddenly had to deal with several of life’s unexpected blows. In order to deal with her own anxiety, she decided to find out how people deal with sometimes unimaginable loss. I learned about Any Ordinary Day through the podcast “Chat 10 Looks 3” that Leigh creates together with Annabel Crabb in which they discuss theatre, television, and books. Leigh is a great journalist, but she also had a lot of empathy and compassion and she is acutely aware of her own biases. The book provides some very interesting insights into how people who have experienced incredible losses dealt with that. On top of that, it includes a lot of research on the way we deal with grief and fear. I’d recommend both the podcast and the book.
  • During an impromptu Twitter Q&A, brought about by a delayed flight, Tim Minchin (anyone who knows me well won’t be surprised by this recurring theme) shared that he was reading Gould’s book of fish by Richard Flanagan. I figured that what’s good enough for Tim is good enough for me. At the start, this turned out to be slightly optimistic, as I found it quite hard to read as a non-native English speaker. Luckily it either got easier as the book progressed, or I got used to it. The story is unusual, but interesting and the end is surprising and beautifully written.
  • Feminists don’t wear pink (and other lies) was supposed to be promoted in Top Shop in London, but the owner of Top Shop shut down the promotion at the last minute, causing quite some outrage on Twitter. This was how I found out about the book, which is a collection of essays by women on what feminism means to them. I expected this to be very moving, but I must admit that I was slightly disappointed by it. It’s a great initiative of course and I did learn from several of the stories, but it wasn’t as impactful as I hoped it would be.
  • Stella Rimington’s At Risk had been recommended by someone who knows me well several years ago, but it took me this long to try it. He was right though, I really enjoyed it. Stella is a former director of MI5 and At Risk is the first in a series about MI5 officer Liz Carlyle. It’s tense, but not too tense and Liz is a great character. I’ll definitely read the rest of the series as well.
  • The ideas behind Multipliers by Liz Wiseman were used in a training that I attended, but I never took the time to read the entire book until now. It describes how leaders either multiply how much they use of what the people around them have to offer, or how they (accidentally) diminish it. Like the training, the book really inspired me. I will definitely try to apply more multiplier behavior in my work. I normally read books on an e-reader, but I also ordered both the English and the Dutch paperbacks of this book. The English one because a physical book is more convenient to look things up and the Dutch one for people who are interested in reading it too.
  • For months now there has been a buzz on Twitter about the book and theatre show This is going to hurt by Adam Kay. Adam is a former NHS doctor and in this book, he shares his experiences. This book made me laugh out loud a lot (sorry A!), but it also made me cry. I absolutely recommend this because it’s funny, but it also gives some very valuable insight into the lives of junior doctors. Spoiler alert: they are not in it for the money!
  • Bonus: While in London on a city trip in May, A and I visited Shakespeare’s globe theatre. I had wanted to do that for years and finally made it a priority. It didn’t disappoint. I’ve been fascinated by Shakespeare for a long time and some of this was revived by Matt Haig’s How to stop time, which I read earlier this year. I was always worried that reading Shakespeare might be difficult, but after doing the tour of the theatre I bought Hamlet. I’ve now started reading it and I’m enjoying both the story and the fact that I’m finally reading it.

Phew! Summarizing the holiday and my reading was exactly the closure that I needed. I’m ready to go home tomorrow!

How can we fight for facts?

I’m in the south of Portugal at the moment and it’s chucking it down. Being stuck inside I’ve resorted to reading the news and that does nothing to lighten my mood.
I continue to be surprised and saddened by politicians who lie and cheat and by how many people are railing against science, facts, and evidence. My parents taught me from a very young age that it was ok to be naughty every now and then, but that lying was off limits.

I like to be liked and I don’t have a rebellious nature. I cannot comprehend how someone can be so bold to tell easy to debunk lies in public and indeed in the press. Let alone then accuse others of lying when they debunk the original lie. It frustrates me to see this happen and to have no idea what do to about it. A lie is still a lie, and not just a “different perspective” and we all know it.

If these lies would have small or insignificant consequences I might be able to ignore it, but the impact is huge. The fact that we don’t take climate change serious could mean that a lot of places where people have built lives today will become uninhabitable because of drought or flooding. Brexit will have a serious economic impact on people living in the UK as well as many in the EU and on UK nationals living in the EU and EU nationals currently living in the UK. Refugees fleeing warzones trying to get to safety have to live in degrading conditions because politicians in rich countries are using scaremongering tactics to explain why these refugees cannot be offered asylum and children are getting sick or even dying because parents don’t vaccinate their kids.

The brilliant and thought-provoking Dutch TV series “Onbehagen” (Discomfort) created by Bas Heijne discusses that civilizations rise and fall on the basis of their cultural ideas. What are people willing to fight for? Are we willing to fight and struggle and be uncomfortable for the values that brought us our safe and comfortable lives? After having defeated fascism and communism it seems like we have become complacent and assume things will work out for the best eventually, even if historical evidence suggests that defending a peaceful and inclusive society from the influences of racism, hate and other threads requires action.
I would like to know how to do this. What action can we take that will have an impact?

Of course, the first step is always to look in the mirror. Being aware of how your brain works and how your emotions can influence your ideas about what is true helps to weaponize yourself against outside influences trying to trick you into believing their sometimes appealing lies. This means we need to be open to learning and that we need to be aware that we are probably not infallible. For people who are used to being in a position of power and getting things their way in life this is already quite a big leap.

The next step is even more difficult and to be frank, I have no idea how to go about this.
How could we convince people who currently believe otherwise that climate change is a real problem, that refugees are not after their jobs and that vaccines do work as intended and save lives? We have to remember that people who believe the conspiracy theories stating the opposite genuinely believe them. There’s a good reason why the quote “It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled” has gained popularity over the last few years. A quote which ironically is often attributed to Mark Twain without any evidence that the quote was indeed uttered or written by him. He did express something that supports the general idea behind the quote though.

Conspiracy theories have been around for a long time, but they are thriving in a world that rejects established knowledge on a large scale. These theories, nowadays often spread or reinforced via social media platforms, erode people’s trust in science, expert’s opinions and authority. This, in turn, creates a fertile environment for more conspiracy theories to emerge.

If there is no credible source of news and facts that everyone can agree on, then how can we even start to have a discussion about what’s the truth and what’s a lie, let alone about what would be best for the world, our countries and most of the people living in them? How can we prevent going further down this rabbit hole where things that were previously commonly accepted as truth or fact are up for debate and discussion?

Based on what little evidence I have found it seems that rationally and calmly arguing one theory at a time is the best way to debunk conspiracy theories and lies. It takes a lot of patience to stay kind and calm while doing this and will not guarantee that you can convince the person you are interacting with. Another challenge is that most “common” people (people who aren’t artists, journalists or politicians) only have a very small audience, who, because of the echo chambers that we all live in, mostly will already hold similar opinions to our own.

So how can we make a difference and have a positive and noticeable impact on the world around us? How can we defend our culture and fight to protect the values that our grandparents fought a war for? How can we make sure we don’t let it get that far again?

I don’t have any answers to these questions. I honestly don’t know. But I’d love to hear your suggestions.