What a surreal time we live in at the moment. World leaders who lie more and are less eloquent than toddlers, large groups of people ignoring or even arguing against proven facts, because they don’t fit their narrative and so much hate and intolerance everywhere.
In today’s crazy world disagreements are understandable and perhaps even necessary. But there’s no need to be harsh, hateful and unkind to someone you don’t understand or don’t agree with. It doesn’t cost you anything to be kind. Even if you are having a discussion with someone. Being kind doesn’t take anything away from the point that you are making. In my opinion, it’s even the opposite. An argument that is made calmly and with respect for the other person comes across a lot stronger than one embedded in insults and name-calling.
Most people, when being attacked or insulted, will feel bad. Whether you are right or wrong, when someone rips you a new one it will affect your confidence. With the loss of confidence, you will have a harder time making a strong case for your point of view. You might feel like disappearing.
I try not to let unkind words get to me, especially in a professional situation, but sometimes they do. Unfortunately, I’m a lousy actor and I don’t have a poker face. If you pay attention it’s relatively easy to pick up on how I’m feeling.
That’s not the worst part though. As something like that will knock my confidence and requires a significant amount of energy to digest, there will be less energy left for everything else. I might lack patience when someone wants my help or attention. Maybe I’ll react blunter than I would like to, or perhaps I’d fail to listen to someone without judgment.
I might involuntarily pay someone else’s unkindness forward.
When you give someone a compliment, on the other hand, they’ll feel good. You will build them up. They will feel more confident and that in turn will make it easier for them to express themselves.
This means that bluntly criticizing and kindly complimenting someone are both self-fulfilling prophecies. The impact of your words will almost automatically confirm your opinion.
So I plead with you to try and be kind to people. Give someone a compliment if you feel positive about them. And if you don’t then just keep your mouth shut. You won’t achieve anything apart from tearing down someone you feel is already down. Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them.
Let’s bring some sympathy, tolerance, and kindness in this crazy world we live in.